If a relative is reluctant to agree to be interviewed, here are a few ideas to get things started:
• Ask him or her to confirm or counter what someone else has said.
• Bring out others’ books or tapes as examples of personal history.
• Pull out an old photo album and let the images lead the conversation.
• Reassure your subject that you’ll offer the opportunity to edit the interview transcript before it is shared with anyone.
• When he or she insists that no one would be interested in their life story (They always do!), say everyone’s life is valuable to future generations—the successes and the challenges! An ordinary life, when viewed by descendants, is always extraordinary.
If the person wants to put off being interviewed until a later time, remind him that memories fade with time, and the farther away we get from events, the hazier they become. It’s best to record them now.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Tips for interviewing a relative, Part 2 of 3
Family gatherings are often when those all important reminiscences emerge. But capturing stories from a family member during the holidays of family gathering isn’t the most productive way to collect stories. Here are some tips offered by professional personal historians:
• Interview your subject alone in a quiet room of his or her home, away from other people, noisy appliances, ringing phones, and interruptions.
• Use a good tape recorder with a separate microphone, or a quality digital recorder. Test your equipment before going to the interview and periodically throughout. Bring extra batteries. Check the recorded sound level to make sure it’s loud and clear.
• Listen attentively and let the person talk. Don’t interrupt. Give the person time to call up memories. The older the subject, the more pauses you’ll encounter. Wait them out.
• Pay attention and show interest. Don’t rush to the next question. Strive for objectivity, even though that may be difficult. Practice keeping quiet, no matter what the person says.
• Show respect for the person’s integrity and choices even though you may disagree with decisions that were made. Remember, you want to capture the narrator’s story from his or her point of view. Resist the urge to correct, or worse, to judge.
• If a person’s account of an event differs significantly from the historical record, gently say so and ask if that’s how he or she remembers it. Often people honestly don’t remember exact dates or sequences of events or get things mixed up. Gentle questioning can help discover the proper order of events.
• Interview your subject alone in a quiet room of his or her home, away from other people, noisy appliances, ringing phones, and interruptions.
• Use a good tape recorder with a separate microphone, or a quality digital recorder. Test your equipment before going to the interview and periodically throughout. Bring extra batteries. Check the recorded sound level to make sure it’s loud and clear.
• Listen attentively and let the person talk. Don’t interrupt. Give the person time to call up memories. The older the subject, the more pauses you’ll encounter. Wait them out.
• Pay attention and show interest. Don’t rush to the next question. Strive for objectivity, even though that may be difficult. Practice keeping quiet, no matter what the person says.
• Show respect for the person’s integrity and choices even though you may disagree with decisions that were made. Remember, you want to capture the narrator’s story from his or her point of view. Resist the urge to correct, or worse, to judge.
• If a person’s account of an event differs significantly from the historical record, gently say so and ask if that’s how he or she remembers it. Often people honestly don’t remember exact dates or sequences of events or get things mixed up. Gentle questioning can help discover the proper order of events.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Tips for interviewing a relative, Part 1 of 3
Before you approach a relative and begin asking questions about his or her life, define your goals and think about some of the following questions:
• Will you focus on the person’s entire life or just a portion of it?
• Who is the audience? In other words, who will have access to this person’s story?
• If negative material comes up, how will you deal with it?
• Will the stories you’re told be published, made available to a select few, or be kept private?
Then, inform the storyteller about the purpose of the interview and who will ultimately hear or read it. If you must, periodically remind the person you are interviewing that the stories that emerge from the interview will only be used in a way you both have agreed upon at the outset.
Once your interview is underway, if your subject refuses to discuss a particular subject, respect his or her wishes and don’t press. Try again at a later date, however; time can change a person’s perspective, giving him or her the distance needed in order to talk about a painful subject.
• Will you focus on the person’s entire life or just a portion of it?
• Who is the audience? In other words, who will have access to this person’s story?
• If negative material comes up, how will you deal with it?
• Will the stories you’re told be published, made available to a select few, or be kept private?
Then, inform the storyteller about the purpose of the interview and who will ultimately hear or read it. If you must, periodically remind the person you are interviewing that the stories that emerge from the interview will only be used in a way you both have agreed upon at the outset.
Once your interview is underway, if your subject refuses to discuss a particular subject, respect his or her wishes and don’t press. Try again at a later date, however; time can change a person’s perspective, giving him or her the distance needed in order to talk about a painful subject.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Writing prompts for memoirs
A colleague, Fran Morley of Fairlane, Alabama, shared a great tip for getting into the mindset of life writing.
My favorite trick, Fran writes, is to invite students on a memory walk through a virtual room from their past. I have everyone relax and close their eyes and put themselves back in a favorite room from their past. I have them step into the room, and I lead them around the room, asking them to look up, noting the ceiling, lighting fixtures, etc., look down at the floor (and maybe remove their "virtual" shoes and feel the carpet or flooring), look out windows as they pass them, noting what's in the yard or on the street, and look into other rooms as they pass by doorways. I have them listen to sounds from the room or other rooms (clock on the mantle, whistle of a tea kettle, dog barking outside, etc), and I have them take a deep breath and recall the smells of the room - grandpa's pipe tobacco, musty drapes, mom's perfume, etc.
After going through this virtual stroll down memory lane, by engaging all the senses, people will remember much more about the room than if I just said, "write a paragraph about a room from your past," Fran said.
For people who think writing about the past — writing their life story — is too daunting a task, this can be an outstanding exercise. Your history, one room at a time! After all, a life story is really just a series of small stories woven together with a single thread: you.
A virtual stroll through a room of your childhood might be a way to get you started.
My favorite trick, Fran writes, is to invite students on a memory walk through a virtual room from their past. I have everyone relax and close their eyes and put themselves back in a favorite room from their past. I have them step into the room, and I lead them around the room, asking them to look up, noting the ceiling, lighting fixtures, etc., look down at the floor (and maybe remove their "virtual" shoes and feel the carpet or flooring), look out windows as they pass them, noting what's in the yard or on the street, and look into other rooms as they pass by doorways. I have them listen to sounds from the room or other rooms (clock on the mantle, whistle of a tea kettle, dog barking outside, etc), and I have them take a deep breath and recall the smells of the room - grandpa's pipe tobacco, musty drapes, mom's perfume, etc.
After going through this virtual stroll down memory lane, by engaging all the senses, people will remember much more about the room than if I just said, "write a paragraph about a room from your past," Fran said.
For people who think writing about the past — writing their life story — is too daunting a task, this can be an outstanding exercise. Your history, one room at a time! After all, a life story is really just a series of small stories woven together with a single thread: you.
A virtual stroll through a room of your childhood might be a way to get you started.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Personal History: Not just for old folks
Personal history isn't just about older people telling stories from bygone days. It's about today.
All of us have, or will have, stories to tell, no matter what our age. Stories about family background, school, first loves, time in the military, our hobbies or travels, our celebrations, are all worth preserving for loved ones.
Remember, you are living tomorrow's history today. If you aren't interested in formalizing your stories now, jot notes to yourself in a journal so that the details that make stories sing won't slip from your memory over time.
What's your story? The topics are endless. Pick one, pick up a pen, and start writing!
All of us have, or will have, stories to tell, no matter what our age. Stories about family background, school, first loves, time in the military, our hobbies or travels, our celebrations, are all worth preserving for loved ones.
Remember, you are living tomorrow's history today. If you aren't interested in formalizing your stories now, jot notes to yourself in a journal so that the details that make stories sing won't slip from your memory over time.
What's your story? The topics are endless. Pick one, pick up a pen, and start writing!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Who would want to read about me?
I’m just an ordinary person. I haven’t done anything special. Who would want to read about me?We hear these objections a lot when talking about the value of personal history. In our star-obsessed culture, ordinary people believe there’s nothing noteworthy about the trials and tribulations of “ordinary” life.
Of course, ordinary people do extraordinary things every day. You know who these people are: the grandmother who serves funeral luncheons at church, the single mother who raised seven children while also earning a college degree, the office clerk who reads books to children during her lunch break, the bank executive who takes a sabbatical to volunteer at a Third World hospital. Every community – every family – has members who humbly go about the day quietly performing extraordinary acts. Their stories, once preserved, can inspire generations.
But a personal history can do more than simply honor civic-minded loved ones. Life stories allow us to connect to other people, to learn from their struggles, or to find courage in their ability to overcome, especially if we’ve encountered similar obstacles.
“The Year of Magical Thinking,” the critically-acclaimed memoir by Joan Didion, recounts the events that precede and follow her husband’s sudden death from a heart attack. Here is a story that explores as universal a topic that ever existed: death. Who among us hasn’t lost a loved one unexpectedly? Didion’s story resonates because when we read her account, we’re able to put our own experience with death into context. Her story isn’t so much about her family as it is about our family, about us.
Other people’s insight into a universal experience can lead us to a place we hadn’t before encountered, a new perspective. In this way, when we read a life story, we do so not so much to learn about them, but to learn something about ourselves. And therein lies the value of telling our stories.
The stories that resonate with us best are the ones where we recognize parts of our self in the narrative. The stories of ordinary citizens can be wonderfully unique. No one holds the same perspective on history, family, community, or birth, life and death, as do you. When you share your insight, you engage us in your uniqueness. We learn about you, yes, but we also learn about us. And this is how we connect.
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